Ready and willing

I have 10 days till my due date. I am ready for the labor process to begin. The baby has gotten bigger and I'm feeling much more uncomfortable. Getting in and out of bed is harder than ever before and the baby is moving alot in any position I am in. The bathroom trips have increased as well as the irregular sleep patterns. Welcome to Week 39 Mari.

A few days ago at work I felt what I think were contractions closer to the "real thing" versus Braxton Hicks. I felt them between 9:30am and 3:30pm every 20-30 minutes or so and had to just stop what I was doing, breathe through it and keep going. I wasn't alarmed but I got this overwhelming sense of needing to finish up my job to tie up any loose ends for the day. I thought it was the beginning of labor and had a good chance of not returning to work, but since they stopped and haven't returned, I know it wasn't. My midwife called it a warm-up and said it could be labor but it also could stop completely until real labor occured. Needless to say, I was slightly disappointed. I'll probably return to work on Monday for my last week unless something else happens.

I want to meet this baby - but I realize that I should enjoy these last few days, as a person responsible only for me. I realize that life is going to change dramatically once this baby is here and things are going to be much more challenging than they ever were. I will worry about things I never thought I would worry about and taking care of someone's survival will teach me things that I never thought about before. The Universe is preparing me (or not) for a whole new set of lessons. I am scared, but ready and willing to cradle this new life and all it may bring us.